[duveltsje]

About a year and a half ago i started playing poker. The way i was introduced to the game was accidental but i was hooked right away. I loved it. That people could see i was a newbie and therefor ran out of money fast in the first few months didnt bother me. Being called a donkey or a fish didn’t bother me either. Although it made me very insecure at times. I had no illusions about being an instant skillfull player. I was quite happy playing and learning.

And oh boy did i learn. I think i have folded the winning hand quite a bit because of being scared someone had a higher flush, straight, full house, etc. And i remember folding a straight flush for not recognising it as one. I learned something about checking, limping, betting, when to try to get money in the pot, when not to try and build pot, when to fold, when to bet preflop. And to date i dare say i do manage nicely dispite of the occasional donkey, fishy move. And although still an overall losing player i love the game.

When i get my hands i go through every emotion possible. I can yell at the puterscreen, i can cheer for winning a hand, i can be very disappointed, sad even and i can go from “i love poker” to “i hate poker” and vow to nover play again which isn’t going to happen ofcourse since i am now slow but steady making up for my losses and learning from my mistakes.

I learn to disguise my insecurities. I try to make my weak points less weak and my strong points stronger. And some things i will never understand like building pot with AK AA or KK with minraises or why some people insist on being rude and call other people donkey, fish or noob. I will never understand why some people go cussing and yelling in the chatscreen after a hand lost. But sometimes it still gets to me. As it did yesterday.

I am not someone who remembers all the details of a hand but this is a summary of what happened:
SB50 BB100 everyone folds and i am on chair 5 i make a 4x BB raise on QQ chair 7 goes all in with 2000 chips what is also my total stack. Which i have seen him do on all sorts of paired hand except with AK KK AA which he minraises. Everyone else folds and i for the above reasons decided to shove all my chips to the center too. Cards get turned and first thought going through my mind when i saw his 88 was “good read girl, now lets get fingers crossed”. The crossing of the fingers didn’t help because an 8 came out first card on flop and i didnt improve so therefor went out. Mr-hit-his-8 was obviously happy and said omg these donkeys and pokerskills.

Most of the time people calling others donkey lack self reflection so i am pretty sure he meant i was the donkey. Leaving my insecure side wondering: is he right? Did i do a donkey call? Should i have folded? Meanwhile i will not let it bother me. I see it as a learning point and will go on playing and learning. I can’t influence other peoples behaviour nor can i avoid being beat by players determined to shove their chips in on a hand that i would fold. What i can influence is my own behaviour and adapt it to other peoples playstyle.

My question to you is: what would you have done and am i a donkey in this case?

(with pot building i mean minraising 2xBB preflop keeping people in)