Why do I think so much?

Hello Erica,

I am currently at work and bored, thus I've been surfing around the rakeback site. Your post caught my eye as I too myself think Way too much. I also wanted to say I am impressed by your abilities (i.e. with electronics and such). The question you asked your teacher when you were young (i.e. what made God), is exactly the kinda of thing I used to ask myself when I was a kid. I used to say if we came from the earth, and the earth came from the "Big Bang" and before that it was just dust, and before that nothing.....!!How was there something for there to be nothing????!! THis question drove me crazy, the more I thought about it, the more confused and zoned out i became...its crazy i still dont understand, no one can answer that question....as for your teacher she lacked the training needed in that situation...a funny story nonetheless

Your aptitude seems like a perfect fit for poker, the calculating ability, constant thought and evaluation of situations are characteristics that I believe all good poker players have. Not only have you found something that is a hobby of yours, but it is also financially compensating (which is a huge bonus!). I myself like the act of making money, not just money itself, but rather generating profits (again comes the question or rather now the strategy of getting something from nothing....see how I bring the question of life, -something from nothing- into the life of gambling Making something from nothing ($$$).
Nehow, I wanted to say I think SO Much, there has been times I couldn't sleep becuz things ran thru my head, the more I fight it the more I lose, I just think we have to embrace it. Control it and use it for the best, dont let you thoughts control you, I once read in a book "do not give in to the toys of your mind". It is funny how life is, some of the most brilliant minds were not only geniouses, but they were borderline skitzofrenics (probably the wrong spelling).


Nehow, I've been playing poker now for a long time and have blown a crazy amount of money due to Tilt, Alcohol and always being tired (i.e. playing when I shouldn't). It feels worse everytime I think about how much I lost.
I am going to try and make some money back by using rakeback and its referral program. Hopefully, I can recover some of my losses and also change my mentality to be more disciplined and make money like I should at the tables.

Thank you for reading by redundant and unorganized response, back to work for me.

Cheers and good luck at the tables

Nadim

I appreciate your comment on my blog. I agree with the comment about many geniuses being borderline schizophrenic. I was tested in kindergarten to have a 128 IQ, and these days it averages out around 158-ish. I test twice a year, just to keep tabs. I sometimes wonder if I may have the schizophrenia problem, as my thought process can sometimes drastically alter my personality, especially recently at work. But that's another blog in itself. I know I have OCD and ADHD, so why not throw another so-called "disorder" in there with the rest? LOL I love how doctors and scientists can't understand things, so to make it simple they give it the "disorder" tag.

Thankfully, it's not a dangerous personality change, but moreso going from perfect contentment to utter depression almost instantly, sometimes lasting for weeks, then suddenly reverting again. A lot of it deals with work and my overall life situation as a whole. Not to go into too much detail, I have some pretty moderate health problems which affect my daily quality of life. I battle through it to hold down a job (albeit part time, it's still a job), yet they treat me terribly. The only appreciation I get is from my loving partner, and my two cats. LOL It's not really funny, but I have to laugh or I'd cry sometimes.

My other frustration comes from the fact that my entire life all I ever heard was, "...graduate high school and you can have any job you want!" Only to find, 13 years later, that the saying then goes "...graduate COLLEGE and you can have any job you want!" I'm sorry, but I cannot justify spending $30,000 or more for a sheet of paper signed by someone as a witness to say I can do something I already know I can do, and that many other people can attest to seeing me do, and correctly at that. I dunno...I have way too much going on upstairs these days, and I agree controlling it is a battle in itself. I am a raging insomniac mainly due to that fact...I simply cannot shut off my brain...most especially on nights like this where I've had a bad night at work. But again, that is a whole other blog.

Anyway, sorry for rambling but just wanted to really and truly thank you for your comment and understanding. It's refreshing to know there are others in such close proximity.

Have a great day,
Erica