Article #3 - Balancing Poker with Relationships

Balancing Poker with Relationships

By: Erica R. Nelson (August 2008)

This concept can sound easy enough to accomplish, but believe me it is one of the most delicate balances in the world. The fine line we must walk between Poker and relationships is as thin as a spider's silk.

For those who simply view Poker as a fun and exciting hobby, they may have no trouble putting their relationships and other responsibilities first, and Poker second. However for others, Poker is in their blood. They eat, drink, sleep and breathe Poker. So for bonafide gamblers, a relationship can be viewed as more of a distraction than a commitment. This is when you know something has gone terribly wrong.

Many people struggle with how to balance their time to effectively allow for work, family, friends, relationships and Poker. Some people even confuse Poker with "a second job" and give it priority as such over their relationships, while their partners grow more and more anxious and feel more and more neglected.

Granted, some people can and do play Poker as a source of regular income, and that is not a bad thing...as long as their other priorities and responsibilities do not fall last in line, there can be balance.

How do you achieve balance with a hectic lifestyle including Poker? There are a number of good ways to keep things in harmony, but in all reality you cannot do anything without the help of your partner. Working together to come up with a beneficial solution where both of you benefit is by far the best suggestion I could give.

First and foremost, your relationship should come first above Poker. If you ever find that you are cancelling dates, forgetting anniversaries or birthdays, or simply telling your partner "I'm busy" when they simply want to talk to you, you know there is a serious problem, and action needs to be taken.

The first step to finding out if Poker is causing a problem with your relationship is to ask your partner how they feel about it. Ask them directly if they feel neglected because of your hobby, or if they feel second best. The answer can be very hard to hear and accept, but you've got to take it seriously, and work to correct it. Poker offers thousands of opportunities. The world will only offer you one true love, so you must treat it as the rarity it is.

Look at your schedule and your partner's schedule, and find the open times where you two can spend time together, and when your partner is not around. That is the optimal time to schedule in your Poker games.

Perhaps your partner has a day time work schedule and you have a night time work schedule. Simply adjust your schedule to allow time to play Poker while your partner is at work, so he/she will not be affected by it. Likewise, if when you return home from work your partner is already asleep, use this time to play Poker to avoid affecting your partner in any negative way.

Alternatively, during hours when you are home together, spend that time together, and away from the computer. You'll be surprised at the world of difference you'll see in your partner, and your relationship as a whole.

Partners can sometimes misunderstand your passion for Poker as an addiction, whereas other times they could very well be correct. Talk to your partner if they express this concern. Hear their view of you (as many times we cannot see ourselves the way others see us), and then give input on why you play the game. Try writing a list of reasons why you play Poker, then let your partner read it. Generally, many addicts #1 reason for playing will be an affinity for "easy" money.

There was already another blog posted by another member which goes into deep detail about how to recognize the symptoms of addiction, and the steps to recover from it. I'd advise looking for that blog if you think you may have a problem, or know someone who might. It may very well make a world of difference.

~LiLady~