Funny things "said" at the tables.

[EliminateU]

These are a few funny things I've "heard" at the tables.

Online at a 2/4 ring game: I had played fairly tight, got AA and got one caller. Got all in on flop versus A-4 that hit nothing. Runner-runner to a wheel and he tells me how he was the better player, that I telegraphed my hand. LOL.

Live game 5/10 casino: middle pos. with KK. had been tight and up to $1150-ish from my $1000 buy-in, folded to me and I go $45 get a caller. Flop 5-A-9. I bet out $90, other guy goes all-in for like $500 or so. I fold, he flashes his A-Q and I show my KK. The lady next to says I should've called, since I had 2 more cards to hit my set. LOL.

Online Sng(9) $50+5: The guy to my left goes all-in 4 stright times to get blinds and limpers chips. On fifth consecutive all-in (after I had limped on purpose) I call and I have Q-8s vs his 5-6offsuit. I win and he hangs around to tell me how bad I was for calling with Q-8s. Even after he is eliminated he keeps berating me. Now, I would never call all-in with that hand if the guy hadn't gone all-in like an idiot 5 times in a row. LOL.

Please add your funniest table chats.

[allthatremains]

Well, on the first two, they are kinda funny/strange.

I would never make the q8s call even if he went all-in 20 times in a row. This hand is not much better than average and you got lucky he wasn't holding something better. There will be better opportunities to get it all in against him. Although if you were down to an M of 6 or less I would get it in there, but I would shove first.

[Clearwheezy]

I had a guy ask me if I liked to eat cow hooves...I told him I like eating the rest of the cow first...not quite sure what he was talking about. Was it some reference to playing bad cards? Doubtful... Was he crazy....Yeah, I'd say so.

[Tuomas]

I had to lift this since I had a hilarious one yesterday.

I was playing HU PLO SNG, and I was really on form , of course you need good cards also, which I was getting.

Well this guy was getting punished left and right and he said: "This is not Poker!!! This is AMERICAN SEX!!!", I think he was from Greece, but the meaning still evaded me...

[DeadBabySoup]

I had to lift this since I had a hilarious one yesterday.

I was playing HU PLO SNG, and I was really on form , of course you need good cards also, which I was getting.

Well this guy was getting punished left and right and he said: "This is not Poker!!! This is AMERICAN SEX!!!", I think he was from Greece, but the meaning still evaded me...

my guess is his poop hole was violated by an american tourist when he was a child.

[frecklers]

[QUOTE=EliminateU;32401]These are a few funny things I've "heard" at the tables.


Online Sng(9) $50+5: The guy to my left goes all-in 4 stright times to get blinds and limpers chips. On fifth consecutive all-in (after I had limped on purpose) I call and I have Q-8s vs his 5-6offsuit. I win and he hangs around to tell me how bad I was for calling with Q-8s. Even after he is eliminated he keeps berating me. Now, I would never call all-in with that hand if the guy hadn't gone all-in like an idiot 5 times in a row. LOL.

/QUOTE]

This is the funniest thing I have ever heard in poker EVER

You limped with Q8 planning to call his all in shove because he had gone all in 4 times?

What exactly were u expecting to be a favourite against?

You are only slightly better than a race to his 56off lol

[frecklers]

Funniest thing I ever heard at an online table although I was not in the hand...

After an all in shove on a paired flop from a guy with A high the opponent called with 8 high

When asked why he had made such a ridiculous call, his reply was....


" I knew you was bluffing!!"

[crap golfer]

I love it when people say "rigged", and the funny thing is that most of them actually believe it.

[Wyte22]

A small stakes home game with some of the ppl I work with (like a $5 tourney lol):

Me: I'm All in
Chef: I call

I turn over A2o, and his reaction:

Chef: well, I thought I would have two live cards.


Turns over 23s.....rivers the flush to knock me out



Live 1/2 NL game during WSOP Circuit event:

Me: Soo you set me all in, I have an open ended str8 flush draw and you just have a lower flush. At what point did you realize you were REALLY behind? was it when I raised you or snap called your all in?

Donkey: When you turned over your cards.

then miracle on river ( I was 84-85% on the flop, 70% on turn [board paired making it possible for alot of split pot combos]).

Me: Nice catch

Donkey: it's all skill brother, you'll get there one day my friend.

[don. scoobie]

hey dude dont tap the aquarium, re;why. re; your spooking the fish dude

[frob23]

Once, when I was very very drunk, I was playing in a sit and go and just not caring about the results at all. I was running hot though and winning with all sorts of garbage.

At one point, I pulled a hand down with 8-4o or something insane like that. And someone asked me how I could play a hand like that. I told them that 8s were wild in Hold'em and that I wouldn't lose a hand as long as I had an 8. As luck would have it, right after I said this I kept getting hands with 8s in them and hitting the flops hard.

I kept rambling about crazy 8s the entire game. And everyone kept trying to put me out and they were over-compensating for my wild play. When I actually had a hand pre-flop (like AA) they would end up paying me off or going broke because they assumed it was some dumb hand. If they action got too hot I would just fold and comment that I would have played the hand if I had an 8.

The whole table was furious and the chat was alive with how much of a donk I was and how they were going to knock me out and laugh. As it so happened, I ended up heads up with one of the more annoying people. I called a raise with 8-6o and the flop came. 6-6-9. He bet, I called... the turn was an 8... I commented, "Yes... hit my wild!" and shoved. This was a massive bet even at this point because the game had played really fast with the way I stirred it up.

He replied, "8s aren't wild and I have you!" And called. He turned over 5-7o. "Not a bad hand, usually, but didn't you see the 8 out there? You had to know you were drawing dead," I commented... and then he started the stream of swearing or whatever. I left right after the hand.

Not my finest moment but I was laughing my ass off the entire time. And no one at the table seemed to understand that I wasn't being serious about the 8s thing and was just having a good time. I think the fact that they took it seriously was what really made it funny.

[don. scoobie]

a player was seriously berating another in the chatbox in a 02/04 cents game a few months ago. "u ****ing donkey ,howcan u play that ****" and so on. after a few paragraphs of this the DONKEY replies "huh, wha, sorry ,got caught up in abit of a pornado back there"

[Pro x BOOM]

HAHAHAHAAHHA THIS IS GREAT. I have heard a tone of funny things at the table. But seen even better. Lets shift from Poker to BLACKJACK. I have been doing VERY VERY VERY well on UB blackjack and think I have it figured out ( knock on wood ) so let hope it keeps up.

As for the seen funny hand.

Dealer 6 up Player #1 KQ 20 ME Q8 18
Action on player #1 KQ for 20 DOUBBLES DOWN HAHAHAHAHAHA WTF IS THE MATTER WITH PEOPLE!!! Player one loses HAHAHAHAHAwhat a shock